Hey Dad,
I was writing in my journal last night
and it hit me. I haven't really sat down and told you how grateful I am for
you. I haven't told you all the things that you taught me and how I'm striving
to be a better person because of what you taught me. I haven't really told you
how all those hard nights or days or weeks with you, my brothers, sisters or
other people helped strengthen me into the man that I am and the one I can
become. But only because of the guidance that I received in those times from
you (and Mom).
I suppose I'll start from when I was
very little and from the earliest thing that sticks out In my mind and work my
way to the present. When I was very little and we were either just coming back
from the New Mexico move or just about to take it (I believe it was after) we
went to the Flickingers old house and talked to the man that was living there
because Brad had moved out a few weeks before. I don't know why we were there,
but I do remember for some reason you brought me along and that I thought it
would be a good idea to rip all the Christmas lights off of the little play pen
that the man had put up. You both saw me doing that and I was very scared and
shy because I knew what I had done was wrong. You demanded that I make an
apology but I was to scared or shy to say anything at the time. I believe we
went to the hardware store to buy some lights to replace the ones I broke and
then to give me the opportunity to make things right with this man and to
apologize to him for doing what I did and making restitution for what I did.
There are many instances where something like this had happened, but this is
the first time I can remember for myself that was the principal being
taught.
Through my life I have had to use this
and especially most recently with all the pain and trauma I caused Natalia and
her family. I know there are some things that can't ever be fully repaired or
fixed but it's my job to try my best to undo what I've done until the fault no
longer rests with me and I've learned two things from each of these
experiences. First, how to avoid these situations entirely and second, how to
accept the blame for, and try to fix that which I have broken or
shattered.
The next experience I have after this
would be when I was around the age of eight or nine and In rabbitry 4-H. There
was a period of about 24 hours where my rabbit was without food or water and it
didn't have the ability to forage for food or to get water without my direct
assistance. You and mom then told me that because I didn't take care of my
rabbit and that it didn't get to eat or drink for 24 hours, neither did I. And
so for the next 24 hours I was watched like a hawk by all of my siblings, you,
and Mom. I remember going to Cub Scouts and wanting to eat the snack, but grandma
passing me because she knew I wasn't supposed to eat either. This taught me the
important lesson of being able to choose my actions, but not being able to
choose the consequences good, or bad.
This has played a huge part in my life.
I'm not the best at caring about what their people say I should care about or
in showing any outside interest in listening to the things that people say I
should or should not do. This includes you and mom over the little things as
well. This is not because I don't love you but because I feel like I should be
able to do whatever I want. However, because I can choose to do whatever I
want, and I always have had that ability, it's blinded me to how much my
selfish choices can and so often did hurt those around me before my mission.
For example, when I went skydiving and it put Mom in a concern for my very
life, and sent Regann off went I got home a few hours later. Not their
decision, but a reaction to my choice.
A third experience is when I was ten
years old and Regann and I really started not to get along while we were at Pi.
I treated her poorly and she treated me the same. hen you heard about this, you
sat us all down in the TV room in our old house on Hayden Street s a family and
talked to us about the importance of family togetherness and used the single
stick/bundle of sticks comparison to make it fun for those who were just having
a fun time at Family Home evening. It taught me the importance of respect for
other people.
This one has not really had much shining
from me in many forms because I have always been selfish and slow to do things
unless I know or can see how they impact or can impact me. But from this point
on I had an increased awareness of the importance of all human life which was
further developed thanks to your love of scouting and for sharing that love
with us.
A fourth experience is when I was twelve
and I had to tell you what I had been doing in the late hours of the night by
myself because you were my Bishop and my Father it was especially hard for me
to come to you and tell you everything that I'd done because I knew it was
wrong and I feared that you wouldn't ever love me the same or at all.
You showed me the importance of being
understanding, non-judgemental and taught me more about the atonement so I
could grasp the concept of the atonement and the importance of second chances.
I have since ad to have these conversations with other bishops but they always
echo that which you told me first, those many years ago. Forget yourself and
let the Lord work through you. Tis is the best way to Repent, and to be a
Saint.
A fifth experience that took place when
I was thirteen or fourteen and attending 8th grade at school. I was getting
bullied by many people because I was awkward, new, and all around an easy
target because of my personality and lack of social experience.
You taught me how to stand up for myself
verbally, and physically and I took your advice. I threw one kid again a locker
and made him cry before the teachers saw what was going on and rushed to
separate us. You taught me how to use my strength both physically and mentally
to help myself and through that and the love of scripture studying that you
instilled in me at the tender age of four to five years old I was able to learn
how to use this same strength for others help and benefit Ina righteous
way.
A sixth experience was when I was 15 or
so and wrestling in school. You taught me some of the things that you knew from
your time on school and also how to mentally fortify myself because you knew
that the whole sport for me wouldn't be the physical side, but rather the
mental battle. You instilled in me the ability to discipline myself whenever
the situation called for it.
You don't know this but maybe you have
or could have guessed it, but that mental fortifying is the main reason I am
able to serve a mission. It's kept me from losing to a very bitter adversary of
mine, time and time again when all I had to do was nothing, or almost that. But
because of everything that I'd learned thus far, it was less of a struggle for
me to remove myself from temptation.
Most recently at the age of nineteen,
you taught me the importance of temples when you went through with me my first
time and were crying. There weren't any resounding words from you that day, but
just through the way you treated the occasion and from the way you looked at me
as I struggled with my lack of the happenings and technicalities that take
place there, was enough to root in my breast a love for the temple and it's
importance in this life and the life to come. Also, that actions do speak
louder than words, especially if words won't do at all.
I Love You Dad,
Anziano Anderson
P. S. I can call for Christmas on the 24th, 25th, or 26th
but only for one of those days and I'm 7 hours (or 8?) ahead of you.
P. P. S. I love you
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